Tips for Having a Peaceful Muslim Home

Allaah Says (what means): “And Allaah has made for you in your homes an abode…” [QUR’AAN 16:80].

Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “Here Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His servents: He has given them homes which are a peaceful abode for them, to which they retreat as a haven which covers them and gives them all kinds of benefits.”

A home is a place of retreat, peace, hapiness and joy where one can enjoy the company of the family and friends. Here are some tips on making the Muslim home a peaceful abode.

Encourage Household Members to Pray Salah

‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said: “The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to pray Qiyaam at night, and when he prayed Witr he would say: ‘Get up and pray Witr, O ‘Aa’ishah’” (REPORTED BY MUSLIM, MUSLIM BI SHARH AL-NAWAWI, 6/23).

The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “May Allaah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her face.” (REPORTED BY AHMAD AND ABU DAAWOOD. SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 3488). Throwing of water in the face is not due to an act of anger, rather, it is due to love for the wife that both attain Jannah.

Encourage Giving of Charity

One of the new ideas is to have a box at home for donations to the poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them (the poor), because it is their vessel in the Muslim home.

Introduce Fasting

If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyaam al-Beed (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri (lunar) month), Mondays and Thursdays, Taasoo’aa’ and  ‘Aashooraa’ (the 9th and 10th of Muharram), ‘Arafah, and frequently in Muharram and Sha’baan, this will be a motive for them to do likewise.

Benefits of Reciting Surah Baqarah at Home

The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Recite Soorat Al-Baqarah in your houses, for the Shaytaan does not enter a house in which Soorat al-Baqarah is recited.” (REPORTED BY AL-HAAKIM IN AL-MUSTADRAK. 1/561; SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 1170).

Ensure to Educate the Female Members of the Household

Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy on him, quoted in his book’s chapter headed ‘Can the women be given a day exclusively for them to seek knowledge?’ the Hadeeth of Abu
Sa’eed al-Khudri, may Allaah be pleased with him: “The women said to the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: ‘The men always crowd us out and we cannot reach you, so
set aside a day for us when we can come to you.’ So he set aside a day when he would meet them and teach them.”

Have an Islamic Library

Another thing that will help in teaching your family and letting them develop a understanding of their religion and help them adhere to its rules, is having one’s own Islaamic library at home. It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.

Invite Pious People to Your Home

If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (Noor), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them. The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant scent. When the household members sit with such visitors, this offers an
educational experience to all.

Manage Domestic Conflicts Wisely

It is rare for people to live together under one roof without any arguments, but reconciliation is better and correcting oneself is a virtue. What shakes the unity of the family and harms its infrastructure is when conflicts are brought out into the open before the members of the family, who then split into two or more opposing camps, not to mention the psychological harm that is done to children, especially little
ones. Think about a home where the father says to the child: “Do not speak to your mother,” and the mother says to him, “Do not speak to your father.” The child is confused and filled with turmoil, and the entire family lives in an atmosphere of hostility. We should try to avoid conflict, but if it happens, we should try to hide it. We ask Allaah to create love between our hearts.

Avoid Disclosing Household Secrets to Others

Not disclosing intimate secrets
Not disclosing marital conflicts
Not disclosing any secrets the exposing of which could cause harm to the family or to any of its members.

Be Kind and Encourage Kindness

‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said: “The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: ‘When Allaah – may He be glorified – wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.’” (REPORTED BY IMAAM AHMAD IN AL-MUSNAD, 6/71; SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 303).

In other words, they start to be kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Allaah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else.” (REPORTED BY MUSLIM, KITAAB AL-BIRR WA’L-SILLAH WA’LAADAAB, NO. 2592).

Help With Housework

Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.

The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, however, used to “sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes.” (REPORTED BY IMAAM AHMAD IN AL-MUSNAD, 6/121; SAHEEH AL-JAAMI’, 4927).

According to another report, she said: “He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself.” (REPORTED BY IMAAM AHMAD IN AL-MUSNAD, 6/256; AS-SILSILAH AS-SAHEEHAH, 671).

She, may Allaah be pleased with her, was also asked about what the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to do in his house, and she said: “He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray.” (REPORTED BY AL-BUKHAARI, AL-FAT-H, 2/162).